How to get started with BDSM? 5 practices to help you
Before 50 Shades of Grey many people thought that BDSM was a perverse practice. But with the arrival of Mr Grey and Anastasia Steel mentalities changed and we were able to see that BDSM could be a stimulating way to get out of the routine and mix sensations. In 1990 in San Francisco, the sadomasochistic community decided to group together all the practices related to domination and created the name BDSM. Many people believe that this practice is only related to suffering.
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What does BDSM mean?
B: Bondage
Bondage is a sadomasochistic practice that involves binding your partner in an erotic or sexual relationship. Many people have practiced without knowing what bondage is. If you and your partner have ever tied your hands during sex, you should know that you have more or less practiced bondage.
Bondage can be declined in several ways in BDSM: either in a hard way, that is to say that we take out the latex suits and others or in a softer way until making the thing aesthetic by tying ourselves up meticulously, with care and according to a particular technique. The way of tying is therefore thought out and is inspired by sailor knots in order to sublimate the body; thus we tie ourselves sensually. Bondage can therefore be done in a playful way to spice up your sex life.
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D: Discipline - Domination
During domination there is a contract between a submissive and his master. A submissive or dominated is a consenting slave who plays the role of the docile, obedient and passive receiver in front of the master or mistress. Extreme trust must reign between the master and his submissive. This trust is characterized above all by the respect of the pre-established contract so that each person finds their account there.
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S: Submission - Sado
Submission is a way of surrendering to the desires of another, one forgets one's own will in order to be freed from all constraints and to enjoy this surrender. But the pleasure is not personal since we share it with one's "master". There are two main types of submission:
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Chastity : That is to say, the deprivation of sexual pleasure decided by the master, whether by punishment, by play or for the pleasure of controlling the enjoyment of his submissive.
Sexual slavery : This consists of complying with all the sexual demands ordered by the master without the possibility of refusing (as long as it remains within the limits established by the contract).
M: Masochism
Masochism is a sexual behavior in which a person needs to feel pain in order to achieve orgasm. Practicing sadomasochism allows one to release tension and satisfy sexual urges. This will increase the intensity of emotions and sensations.
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Why practice BDSM?
It is proven that people who practice BDSM are less neurotic than people with a normal sex life. The pain associated with sadomasochism becomes a pleasure when the endorphin charge covers the pain, which creates a euphoric effect. Most people who discover it are still looking for this pleasure. In addition, BDSM within a couple is a way to become extremely tolerant and subsequently to grant a lot of freedom to the other. It is about granting each other fantasies in a relationship of trust.
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5 BDSM Practices for Beginners
Bondage
The goal of bondage is to tie the other person up so that you can do whatever you want without him or her being able to struggle. It can be very beautiful and very exciting if handled well. BDSM objects for bondage are not necessarily big rough ropes, especially when you are a beginner in BDSM. So you can use a tie, a scarf, handcuffs, a bondage bar, etc. The submissive must let him or her do it while the master tries to drive his or her slave crazy with excitement with caresses and gestures. Not only the hands but also the ankles can be tied to increase the slave's submission. Bondage is exciting because the person who dominates gets a great deal of excitement from being in a position of authority and the one who is tied up sees his or her pleasure skyrocket. The roles can also be reversed.
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The spanking
Spanking is probably one of the most used practices in vanilla sex or BDSM. It is also a classic in the world of sadomasochism. It is an erotic way to awaken the senses. Spanking can serve as a foreplay during different role-playing games to which you can add an accessory such as a whip from the Fifty Shades of Grey collection. The incredible Soft Whip is perfect for this type of practice. The more the spanking occurs spontaneously during the act, the more exciting it is. Often, it is only one of the two partners who is spanked. Spanking is exciting because it is a form of punishment for the fact that we have been naughty.
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The punishment
Punishment is an erotic role play that is very present in BDSM. Reprimanding the other for having acted badly and subjecting him to punishment can increase arousal. This erotic punishment can be linked to a spanking or to the obligation to submit to sexual positions or even to sexual practices that the dominator will have chosen. This will allow us to free our unconfessed fantasies by giving ourselves completely to the other. There is an intense interest, since playing the role of the bad girl or bad boy who receives a punishment can lead to unpredictable scenarios.
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Orgasm deprivation
Orgasm deprivation is the act of provoking intense desire in the other person without giving them permission to reach ultimate pleasure. The idea is to push them as close to the edge of orgasm as possible without giving them permission to go all the way to the end of that orgasm. The result? Sexual frustration: it's very exciting.
Especially because it is usually men who are the victims. It is therefore a great revenge to use immediately in your sexual practices. You can, to be sure that the victim does not manage to satisfy herself, put a chastity belt on her. Reaching the orgasmic limit causes the same release of hormones as when orgasm is obtained. Thus the excitement at its maximum can last for a good while since there is no ejaculation.
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Spontaneous excitement
Some more daring practices for those who are not afraid: BDSM games can also continue or start in public places. For example, by using vibrating eggs that the submissive can insert into her vagina and that the dominant controls via a wireless controller. She is therefore subjected to a spontaneous excitement that only her master has the power to do.
It's exciting simply because a simple dinner at a restaurant or a trip to the movies can become terribly exciting. In addition, the excitement rises throughout the evening without being able to realize this pleasure. You are sure that in the end you will have a great night. Whether you are a beginner in BDSM or still undecided to start these practices, we hope that this has convinced you to add these activities to spice up your life as a couple. Who knows? Maybe one day you will add even more toys to your arsenal.